Confession Time, Part 2

At the risk of losing readers, I have a confession to make:

I don’t read blogs.

Sorry, but it’s true. I read Tammy’s every day. I read Debi’s and Krista’s once or twice a week. Usually. I link to anyone who links to me (when I get around to it. Look, Ronn, you’re finally there!), and once a week or so I go through my links (which for some reason keep moving themselves to the bottom of this page instead of the side where they’re supposed to be) and check out what’s going on. If someone new comments on one of my posts, I click on their name to see if they have a blog and try to make a return comment on one of their posts. If they come back again, I think about someday getting around to adding them to my links.

I like writing and posting, and I love comments (look! someone was interested enough in what I had to say to comment!). However, I don’t get up every morning and read a dozen blogs. I’ve tried blog-hopping, but my brain starts to go numb after the third or forth one. It’s like alcohol; I understand the addiction others feel for it, but I’m not that excited about it myself.

I apologize if that makes anyone not want to come by anymore, but I just had to get that off my chest. ;)

***

Can anyone tell me what, exactly, a “hollaback girl” is? I’ve heard that song a million times, thanks to the overplaying tendencies of American radio, and I don’t get it.

I believe that “hollaback” can be broken down into two component parts: “holla”, a truncated version of “holler”, and “back”. Put together, the definition I have come up with is to reciprocate a verbal attack. In other words, someone said something nasty about Gwen Stefani, and she’s hollering back.

The problem here is that the song specifically states that Gwen is not a “hollaback girl”. She’s quite adamant about this fact. The entire chorus is dedicated to the proposition that she wouldn’t even dream of being a hollaback girl. Yet the remainder of the lyrics are quiet clearly pointed rebuttals of some unknown yet obviously pointed attack.

So what we’re left with is a song hollering that it’s not a hollering song. Which means that either the song is contradictory or it’s a flat out lie. The best answer I can come up with is that Gwen means that she’s not merely a hollaback girl but, in fact, she’s also someone who is ready to take action. This is not a perfect answer because, as far as I’m aware, Gwen hasn’t been in any brawls with anyone, so all she has done is hollaback at whoever slighted her in the form of this song despite saying in the song that she wasn’t going to do just that.

The whole thing just makes me dizzy. I’m going to go lay down. Please feel free to holla at me if you know what’s going on.