Music is in the Air Part 1 - Hop In

Parental Advisory: This blog should not be read by anyone, including the author, who wrote it blindfolded in order to protect himself from the naughty words contained within.

Is it me, or is music in a state of decline? I barely even listen to the radio anymore because all the stations play just a handful of songs over and over; and those songs range from boring to flat out offensive.

My wife and my older sons are into hip hop, so whenever we’re all in the car, that’s what we listen to. I dislike hip hop immensely, not because I hate the style, but because every hip hop song on the radio glorifies sex and/or greed.

Every song is like a musical version of MTV cribs; ‘Here’s my 22 cars, here’s the mansion that I live in all by myself, here’s the play room for the ho’s. Damn, I’m the baddest mother fucker to ever walk the face of the planet. Worship me, bitches!’

Here is a typical hip hop song:

My name is Rapper G and I’m a pimp

Get outta my face or I’ll make you limp.

I’m the greatest thing to ever hit this place

The girls line up to lick the band-aid on my face.

I’ve got 50 inch rims on my H2O

To make sure all can see them I ride it really slow.

I love all the bitches from their toes to their racks

I tell them, ‘You know, Baby, that I’ve got your back.’ (uh huh)

I’m the pimp and you’re the ho

Come on over here and let me corn your row.

etc.

And that’s another thing I hate about hip hop – what’s with the worship of pimping? Since when did selling women’s bodies become a glamorous occupation? Are there girls out there who just can’t wait to start their prostitution careers? Is that something you can get a two-year degree in now? Is there such a thing as an Associate’s Degree in Whoring?

Yo, hip hop perverts! Thanks for teaching my six year old to call himself a pimp! That’s exactly the sort of value I want him to grow up with!

At least hip hop songs generally have inventive beats. Next time we’ll discuss the blandness that is the Alternative scene.