Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Despite its drawbacks – such as being the gateway to cold weather – September is my favorite month of the year. It’s mostly warm, but you get those nights near the end when the air carries that refreshing autumn nip tinged with the smell of woodsmoke from long-dormant fireplaces. You can use the full range of your wardrobe, since it’s still warm enough for shorts, yet you also need the occasional sweater. And September brings with it the greatest of America’s contributions to civilization: football.

I love football. It has the perfect combination of speed, power, and skill. You can’t just be fast to play football; you’ll get knocked around. You can’t just be big; people will run right by you. You must have a wide variety of attributes to be good at football.

What about soccer? you may say. It’s the most popular sport on the planet! Unlike American football, they’re running all the time! None of that starting and stopping stuff in soccer.

Perhaps so, but it’s also boring. Any game with a typical score of 2-1 after hours of play is boring by definition. Soccer carries with it the same fatal flaw as hockey; the offsides rule. The fact that an offensive player can’t beat the defense down the pitch/rink before the ball/puck gets there is what holds both of those sports back from becoming truly great. That would be like calling a penalty every time a wide receiver beat a corner and caught a sixty yard touchdown bomb. Instead we see everyone gathered on a line waiting for someone to dump the ball into the offensive zone. Hmm, wonder why NHL guys keep talking about how little space there is to skate…

Baseball is boring, too. You sit and watch and watch and watch, just waiting for something to happen. Usually nothing does. It’s like a watching a football game where both teams just run it up the middle every play and punt 42 times a game. Every now and then someone breaks a 15 yarder, but it’s mostly two yards, three yards, negative four yards, punt, repeat. Yawn.

Football is the perfect sport. Every member of the team is essential; leave out a guard or a safety and your team will not have success. It’s not non-stop action, but that’s okay; the breaks between plays give viewers a chance to break down the play before. It’s not like anything actually happens in those non-stop sports either. Besides, the waiting builds anticipation for the play that follows.

Every week I’ll post my fearless predictions for the upcoming games of both my favorite collegiate team (Ohio State) and my favorite pro team (Carolina). Unless I forget to.

4 Comments:

Blogger Jona said...

I'm laughing my socks off - but only because I'm not a football fan! The rest of the world thinks 'football' came out of England and America was just lacking in imagination when they pinched they name! We do have a similar game to Ameican Football, it's called rugby, but we don't let the players wear all that big-girlie protective gear ;o)

6:21 PM  
Blogger Josh said...

american football and soccer both originated from rugby. rugby is ok, but it is an evolutionary step behind american football. that step? the forward pass. there's nothing prettier in sports than a well executed forward pass.

8:47 PM  
Blogger MarkD60 said...

So true about football (soccer). we were broadcasting a game and the score was 0-0 near the end and I was praying someone would score so it wouldn't go into overtime!
Go Redskins!

11:31 PM  
Blogger Jona said...

Hi Josh, I know the history is shaky, but at Rugby School they are taught William Webb Ellis picked up the ball and ran with it whilst playing football (albeit a 30 aside team in that match). Coincidentally my brother attended Rugby School!

I'm not a big fan of ball games, but Rugby is my favourite - though I fear this is partly because of the brutality of the mtach ;o)

4:46 AM  

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