Friday, November 18, 2005

Into the Depths...

I started writing a new story today. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not.

I’ve been in a sour mood all day, thanks to a fight I had with the wife last night. The details of the fight aren’t important – they weren’t even important during the fight, which is the bad thing – but it has left me feeling bitter and alone today. That’s the mood I started writing in during lunch, and the result is scaring the hell out of me.

I keep my stories clean. People (at least main characters) are married before they have sex, and the sex is way offstage. There is cursing and violence, and one story even skirts around rape. But I want to keep my books at a level where my children can read them; where I wouldn’t be ashamed to read them in public. I want them to be safe.

This new story is anything but safe. It is going in directions that I don’t want to go.

No, check that; it’s going in places that I’ve always wanted to explore, but have been too afraid to go. It deals with rape and sexual violence and forced submission and…other stuff. It makes me ill just thinking about it.

Have you watched ‘Apocalypse Now – Redux’? Remember the scene where the Playboy bunnies are whoring themselves out for fuel? It was sad and sickening and not the least bit erotic despite the numerous naked women. That is how this book feels.

Even if I finish it, I highly doubt I will ever submit it. In fact, only one other person is likely ever to read it. But I’m going to keep writing it anyway, to explore those places that I’ve been avoiding all my life. It will be a journey to all of the places I’ve skirted around in previous stories. I have no idea what’s going to happen or how it will end. If it ever does. All I know is that it won’t be a happy journey.

I’m so sorry, Bria.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Times, They Are...

This year is already a memorable one because of the move last August; more major change is on the way. I hope.

First, and least importantly, I retired from SinisteR, the gaming clan that I have been a part of for two and a half years (feel free to dig through my archives for my gaming and clan history). It just wasn’t fun anymore. The people I joined with have left and, although the new members are good guys (and gals), it’s just not the same. I left after the shortest stint as a division leader in the history of the clan. Good luck, guys (and gals).

Next, I am hopefully going to have a new, slightly better paying job soon. I have applied for every conceivable position in the IT department of the hospital system I work for; I feel reasonably confident that I’ll get a bite on one of the lines. I’ve spent a lot of time improving the look and feel of my resume. We’ll see if that makes a difference.

Any other changes? Well, I might be able to go to school winter quarter. Maybe. We’ll see how that works out. Not that that’s much of a change.

Sorry, by the way, for the lack of posts throughout the second half of October. Tammy’s been keeping me busy with excerpts from Valley of the Soul, her third book (due out next year). Obviously, I can’t say much more about it, but suffice it to say that you’re all in for a treat. In the meantime, Threads of Malice is available now – go get a copy. It’s awesome.

In other news, I think I’ve developed a case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome; my wrist hurts, especially after typing, and my arm goes numb after awhile. What this means is that all writing and game playing has been put on a hiatus until it clears up. Guess I’ll catch up on my TV watching.