Friday, September 30, 2005

Everything Old is...Well, Still Old

14 had a bad game last night. He fumbled a punt return, missed a tackle that would have prevented a fourth-down conversion, and got burned on the game-winning pass. He felt bad – at least, he looked as if he felt bad; he insisted he was fine – but it’s actually my fault. His team lost because I forgot to post my fearless prediction yesterday.

Sorry, 14.

In the meantime, I’m feeling depressed about my book. I looked it over for the first time in a couple of months and came to the conclusion that it’s not really all that unique. It has a few good scenes and I think the characters are reasonably compelling. It’s well-written (if I do say so myself). But Solomon complained 3000 years ago that there was nothing new under the sun. If that was true then, how much more is it true now?

How do you tell a unique story in today’s jaded world? How do you make a splash when the water has congealed into mud?

The secret lies in how the literary world has evolved over the years. I don’t know why, but we humans love to stick things into categories and keep them there. Thus the print world is subsected into genres. Not just fiction and non-fiction, but Sci-fi and Fantasy, Horror and Romance, Historical, Contemporary, Classical, and a thousand more. If you want to be noticed, find a way to break these molds; combine two or more genres into something new, or take a genre stereotype and play it the opposite way. Take a chance.

The best recent example (cue commercial music) is Tamara Siler Jones’ books. Ghosts in the Snow and, due out next month, Threads of Malice are getting rave reviews because they successfully blend the Fantasy and Forensic Mystery genres into something new. If you haven’t checked Ghosts out yet, go get it.

But the same set-up that makes such satisfying blends of genres also makes it difficult to market said books. Bookstores want neat categories for the books they sell; they don’t want to have to think about which section (Fantasy or Mystery?) to put Ghosts in the Snow. And God knows they couldn’t put it in both! Think of all the extra work!

So Ghosts loses half of its audience simply because the average Mystery reader doesn’t spend much time browsing the Fantasy section.

Hmm…It appears that I’ve moved onto a tangent of my original point. Oh well. Back to the grindstone. Maybe I’ll add some Horror to my Fantasy book. That’s never been done before. Oh, wait, yes it has. Hmm..how about…no, that’s been done too.

Shit. Back to the drawing board.

Fearless Prediction of the Week:

Carolina – 26

Green Bay – 12

This, incidentally, is an important game in my house; Carolina is my favorite team and Green Bay is 14’s favorite

I absolutely guarantee that Ohio State won’t lose this weekend. Remember, you saw it here first..

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Reveal Your Darkest Secrets

Awhile back, Tammy posted something about guilty pleasures. You know, the thing that you enjoy but wouldn’t want your neighbor catching you doing. I couldn’t think of any at the time, but it recently occurred to me that I have one: Yu-Gi-Oh! (Exclamation point theirs.) The card game and the cartoon; I’m hooked on both.

It all started back when we adopted the older boys. The older one, who is now 14 (and thus shall from this moment on until next year be referred to as ‘14’), had a deck of cards. I didn’t pay any attention to them at first, but then the second oldest one (11) wanted some of his own for his birthday. So we got him some. I still didn’t really care, but then both boys started leaving cards lying around all over the house, so I came up with a rule: any cards that weren’t put away when they were done being used became mine. Although 14 was quick to learn and stopped leaving his cards lying around, 11 wasn’t – and still isn’t – that wise. Before long I had a deck of my own, made up of the leavings of the boys’ decks.

It was a poor deck – the strongest card was a 4th level warrior with 1600 attack points (as a point of reference for all you non-Yu-Gi’s out there, 14’s strongest card was a 7th level dragon with 3000 attack points) – but I was still able to beat both boys three out every four times because I had an advantage: I actually read the rule book. Eventually 14 read the rules too and improved his game-play. I don’t think 11 has read the rules even yet, but he’s been trounced enough times that he’s picked up the general idea. Poor 6, incidentally, is still learning to read, so even though he tries, he can’t figure out what any of his cards are supposed to do.

Even more embarrassing than being a Yu-Gi-Oh! player is admitting that I watch the TV show. It’s poorly written, badly drawn and animated, has excruciatingly bizarre plot lines, and is filled with enough stutter-stops to re-explain what happened in previous episodes to make a soap opera seems fast paced. The duels are over-the-top displays of grandstanding and ridiculous taunting, and every card needs to be explained in detail whenever they’re played. But for someone who plays the game, watching the duels is really quite fun. I watch the previous night’s episode every morning before going to work.

There, my confession is over. Glad I got that off my chest.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Things That Nobody But Me Cares About

What the hell is wrong with the Carolina Panthers? They’re supposed to be really good this year, but they’ve already lost two games. And one of those was to Miami, of all teams.

Yes, Kris Jenkins is hurt and that weakened the interior of the defensive line; but one guy doesn’t make that much of a difference. Kris was there when they lost the opener to New Orleans.

On the surface, the problem is that Carolina is turning the ball over too much. Jake Delhomme has thrown three interceptions and lost a fumble. Steve Smith fumbled yesterday. But turnovers don’t tell the whole story. Why are opposing offenses able to coast down the field? Where is this vaunted defense that the media keeps saying is so great? Why do opposing teams seem to make third-and-long conversions so easily?

It’s still early, but so far the Panthers appear to be an average team at best.

At least Ohio State has rebounded well after the loss to Texas. The play calling was much better in the Iowa game, and Antonio Pittman finally got a full game to show what he can do, which seems to be a lot. Santonio Holmes continues to impress and Ted Ginn…well, he still seems to be overrated. OSU’s defense might be better than Carolina’s.

Not really, I just meant that in a hyperbolic way.

Here’s an update on the much-anticipated showdown of undefeated teams in the RSeven fantasy league:

The Kregen Scorpions, led by primary running back Edgerrin James’ 18 points combined with good games from receiver Jimmy Smith (10) and tight end Jason Witten (14), had a 65-58 edge going into last night’s Chargers-Giants game. Worthington had decent showings from quarterback Donovan McNabb (20) and running back Julius Jones (20), but received a total of two points from their entire receiving corps.

The game came down to Kregen quarterback Eli Manning versus Cardinal running back LaDainian Tomlinson. Manning put up good numbers –the best of his career, in fact – and scored a 23 on the fantasy scoring scale; but LT was unstoppable and ended up with a whopping 42 fantasy points, propelling both San Diego and Worthington to blowout victories. Final score: Worthington 100, Kregen 88.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Football Time

The football weekend started off well last night. My son got his first start at tailback on his 8th grade team and ran for approximately 80 yards on 10 or so carries, and his team won 24-0. He had a number of great plays aside from running the ball too; he picked up a blitz just in the nick of time, he stopped himself from blocking someone in the back, and when he scored his touchdown, he handed the ball to the referee and acted like he’d been there before, even though he hadn’t.

It was as if he actually listens to me.

The game wasn’t really a fair match up; the other team didn’t have enough 8th graders to field a full team so they had a handful of 7th graders playing as well. You may not have noticed – I never did until last year – but the difference between a 7th grader’s body and an 8th grader’s body is pretty significant.

Still, it was a great game to watch. After last year’s team went 0-8, it was nice to be on the side of the winner in a blow out.

Fearless Predictions of the Week:

Ohio State 24, Iowa 15

Carolina 31, Miami 9

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Blog Stew

I have nothing of value to say today, but I feel like writing, so I’m posting something anyway. I was going to say something about my 3-year-old who fell down some stairs yesterday and received a rather nasty lump from the ceramic tile on the floor, but since he escaped with only a mild concussion and seems fine, it felt a little too anti-climatical.

I was going to mention that Tamara Siler Jones’ new book “Threads of Malice” is popping up in pre-published form, but most of my traffic comes from links from her site, so that felt rather redundant. That being said, if you’re someone who didn’t come from her blog (see link, I’m too lazy to make another one here for you), make sure you get it when it comes out. I promise it’s worth the money.

I was going to do a post on music -- how many people listen to music while they’re writing? I can’t. I like silence when I’m writing. It’s more than a distraction; it’s an irritant, like a fly buzzing around your face when you’re trying to sleep. I feel the same way about music in video games. The first thing I do when I load a new game is go to the audio settings and turn off the music track. – but that’s as far as I got before I realized that I didn’t have anything else to say about it.

Let’s see, what else have I got? There’s a showdown of sorts in my ESPN fantasy league; 2-0 Worthington is facing 2-0 Kregen (I think that’s how Ronn spelled it). Both have good players. Worthington hit triple digits last week in its blow-out win, while the Scorpions had to come from behind to win 97-93 over my son’s team. It’ll be a great match-up, especially since Eli Manning does not have a bye this week (and didn’t last week, either), so he’ll probably be starting.

So today’s post is a hodge-podge, a stew of half-thought-out ideas that I don’t really feel like thinking too deeply about. Hope you enjoyed it.

Fearless Prediction of the day: Olentangy Trailblazers 23, Newark Whoevers 6

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

OSU v Texas (Two Weeks Late)

I never got around to breaking down the Ohio State – Texas game, so here it is. Ohio State should have won. They should have won by a large margin. They had great field position the entire game, but couldn’t put the ball in the end zone. The fact that Josh Houston made so many field goals tells you all you need to know; OSU could’ve/should’ve/would’ve had 40+ points and won handily.

So who to blame? Well, first let’s talk about who wasn’t to blame. First on that list is A.J. Hawk, who solidified himself as one of the best linebackers in the game – he was everywhere – and the rest of the OSU linebackers. There were a couple of breakdowns, but you can’t expect perfection every play. They did their jobs. The same is true of the defensive coordinator, who adjusted the game plan perfectly.

We can’t blame Houston. His only miss was a foot wide on a 50-yarder, and he consistently kicked off into the end zone.

No blame goes to Santonio Holmes who, despite the ravings from the media about Ted Ginn Jr, is Ohio State’s best receiver. Who was the go-to guy on third downs? Holmes. Who came up with big play after big play on offense, including a very difficult TD catch? Holmes again.

On the other hand, plenty of blame can be send Ginn’s way. He’s supposedly a Heisman candidate, but what kind of Heisman winner drops three easy passes? I mean, seriously, they were little five yard swing passes designed specifically to get the ball into his hands, and he dropped them. The same thing happened the next week in the San Jose State game. Don’t bother packing for New York, Teddy.

As for the quarterbacks, a little bit of blame goes to Justin Zwick, but only a little. Cover the ball with two hands when you’re about to get hit, Justin! But as far as I’m concerned, Justin was the better of the two OSU quarterbacks that day. He was one bobbled and then dropped TD pass from winning the game.

On the other hand, lots of blame goes to Troy Smith. Yes, he made one pass for a touchdown – but only because Holmes is a great receiver and caught the ball that was thrown behind him, with the defender’s arm crammed in to boot. Hint to Troy: when you’re about to be sacked and it’s clear to everyone (except, apparently, you) that there’s no escape, THROW THE BALL OUT OF BOUNDS! You are not Michael Vick, or even whatever the Texas QB’s name was. Just because you can miraculously escape once every six times does not mean that you are unsackable. The safety at the end of the game was only the worst example; he killed several other drives doing the same thing.

Plenty of blame goes to Jim Tressel and whoever the offensive coordinator is too. Why do they feel the need to completely change the playbook when Smith is in? Why must every other play be a quarterback draw? Antonio Pittman was running really well, but he only ended up with 17 carries because they insisted on running Smith whenever he was in. There was way too much spread in OSU’s version of the spread offense.

Finally, plenty of blame goes to Texas. They made the plays they had to; they consistently kept OSU out of the end zone even though they lost the field position battle. They bottled up Ginn (which, with his hands, wasn’t that hard of a task) and didn’t give up many big plays. Props to them. I guess.

Happy Autumn everyone. It just gets colder from here.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

The Prince of Porn

My oldest son just turned 14. For his birthday he wanted “Prince of Persia: Warrior Within” for the PS2. Now I am a fan of the Prince of Persia games; I remember playing the original on my roommate’s Macintosh. It was 2d back then, but it was innovative for its time. The character could do things like jump and grab a ledge and pull himself up. I died a lot and didn’t get very far and eventually moved out and forgot about the game until a couple of years ago when we got “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” for our PS2.

15 years worth of evolution had changed it to a 3d kill-fest extravaganza. The graphics were great, the fight combinations were very cool, it had a reasonably good plot. I played it a few times, died a lot, and didn’t get very far (I prefer playing football on the PS2) but my son loved it. He played it every chance he got and eventually won it twice.

So it was natural for him to want the sequel, and so we got it for him. It wasn’t until after we got home that we noticed the rating. M? 17+? For Prince of Persia? Sands was only rated Teen, and it never occurred to me that Warrior would be different. So I was given the assignment to find out just how inappropriate it really is.

The back said it was rated M for graphic violence and sexual situations and included a frontal shot of a slut with large CGI breasts that weren’t covered by much at all. The beginning movie had the same slut strolling along a ship deck, completely naked from the back, unless you include a couple of leather strings that were apparently holding the tiny strips of leather that sort of covered the front. I must say that animation has come a long way, because her breasts jiggled with every step.

Why was this necessary? The previous game did fine without making the main heroine naked (at least as far as I’m aware. Hmm…maybe I should go back and check on that…). There was no reason to put nudity in the game. None. Zilch. Zippo. It doesn’t add to the plot. If anything, it detracts from it – I mean, who would ever go into battle wearing an outfit that left every vulnerable spot (and in this case, the invulnerable spots as well) on the body open to attack? It’s just nudity for nudity’s sake, and it’s stupid.

Incidentally, I have the same feeling about writing; there is very seldom a valid reason to bring overt sexual encounters into a story, unless the story is sex just for the sake of sex. Does it advance the plot at all to tell us where she put her hand or how long his member was or how pointy her nipples became? I doubt it. Sex scenes titillate the reader and fill some space and, in the end, usually slow down the plot. Let the reader assume something happened or, if you must, give some hints and let the reader fill in the blanks. Unless the point of your story is the sex, there’s seldom a reason to have blatant sex in it.

There sure isn’t a point to it in Warrior. The fighting and moving is basically the same as Sands, so the naked women must be where the M came from. Someone, please, tell me why? Did Ubisoft get overrun by horny teenagers? Is this the future of gaming?

I think I’ll throw away our PS2 and our TV and our computer and move my family into a cave.

Friday, September 16, 2005

OT Law part 2

Anyway, back to the point. Needless to say, Adam and Eve chose to eat the fruit, and that is the root cause of everything that is wrong with the world today. Breaking that first command placed a permanent schism between God and man. Everyone born from that point on had (and has) an anti-God nature. Everyone in the world is consumed by living for themselves and not for God. Mother Teresa was not a perfect person. Neither is Billy Graham. Ask them and they’ll tell you so themselves. Well, it’s a little late for Teresa, but you get the point.

God, being just, cannot allow blatant rebellion against him to go unpunished. But, being loving as well, he didn’t want to destroy everyone either. So he killed himself (an infinite being) to cover us (an infinite – well, not really infinite, but a huge – number of rebellious acts). He took the punishment we deserved upon himself. Then he came back to life, defeating death once and for all.

The Old Testament (including the law) was given to Israel, but they weren’t justified in God’s eyes simply because of that. In fact, the law was never intended to be a path to become righteous before God. The opposite is actually true: one of the purposes of the law was to prove that man cannot be good enough to warrant God’s good will. It’s impossible for humans to be completely perfect from birth until death.

So the point is this: when Jesus lived his life according to the Old Testament law, he fulfilled it. A new era was born at the point that he came back to life. We don’t live under the same rules that people did before Christ, although the Bible makes it clear that even back then people were accepted by God because of their faith, not because of anything they did.

I know a lot of so-called Christian leaders like to preach about fire and brimstone and damnation, and are quick to point scathing fingers at every transgression they see. But that’s not the point of Biblical Christianity. We’re not called on to point fingers at non-Christians and tell everyone how evil they are; we’re called on to reach out and help those who understand that they’re in over their heads and need an escape from the horrors that often fill their lives. Jesus is that answer.

almost forgot: OSU 46, SDS 9

Carolina 24, NE 23

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Old Testament Law part 1

Ok, for today’s (and tomorrow’s and maybe on) post, I’m going to put in a slightly edited version of something I’m going to be posting on the Hyper-stream.org forums soon. It is being written in response to a question about Biblical law and, since someone brought up homosexuality as one example of their question, this post will let the world know my view on that controversial issue as well.

Hope you enjoy! ;)

Before I can delve into a meaningful conversation about the Old Testament and the law, I need to make sure everyone understands the context and isn’t thrown off the scent by pre-conceptions or misunderstandings of what the Bible actually says. Also note that for the sake of this discussion, we are assuming that the God of the Bible exists; it is well outside of the scope of the question to bring up arguments based on the contrary.

According to the Bible, mankind was created as perfect creatures. How God went about the task of creating everything is beyond the scope of this post; in fact, it’s beyond the scope of the Bible, which is not a technical universe-creating handbook. It’s possible that the big bang was part of it. Frankly, in my mind, it doesn’t really matter how he made the world. The fact is irrefutable that the world now exists.

Anyway, mankind was perfect. But how hard is it to be perfect if no one has told you what you can or cannot do? That’s why God put the infamous tree in Eden. Adam and Even had to have a way to exercise free will or they wouldn’t have truly been free; there is no such thing as free will in the absence of choice. So the choice was put before them: eat or don’t eat. Follow God’s rule or don’t. It’s up to you.

As an aside, since this question was brought up earlier as well, this beginning point is the only time when everything in the world was working according to the way God created it to work. God was very specific about Adam and Eve’s sexual roles: they were married and thus it was natural for them to have sex with each other. Every other form of sex is not how God intended the world to be and is, therefore, unnatural. This doesn’t just pertain to homosexuality. It means any sexual relationship outside of marriage is equally unnatural. Sex between non-married hetero couples is just as unnatural as homosexuality or bestiality or any other –ality you care to name.

Note that I say “unnatural”, not “immoral”. Morality is something that is defined by society, and thus may fluctuate depending on the culture. What is immoral to Americans may not be so for an Amazonian tribe, and vice versa. In modern American culture, homosexuality is not immoral, nor (needless to say) is casual sex. Bestiality is both unnatural and immoral, except in certain parts of West Virginia. When I speak of “natural” or “unnatural”, it is simply a comparison to God’s original blueprints. Any sexual relationship outside of hetero marriage is not the way God originally intended things to be.

And what of it? I expect flack for that statement, but in my view, people are so fucked up in everything they do that it hardly matters what else they throw on the fire. If someone hasn’t understood and believed that God loves them no matter what they’ve done and accepted Jesus’ death in lieu of their own guilt, it really doesn’t matter if they’re sleeping with their girlfriend or their same-sex-partner or their goat. Because you don’t have to change anything to come to God. In fact, the whole point of the Bible is that you can’t be good enough to please God. That’s why he had to sacrifice himself; so he could be good enough for himself and you wouldn’t have to be.

to be continued…

Friday, September 09, 2005

What's the Alternative?

Well, I promised I’d write about the so-called “alternative” music scene, and since I can’t think of anything else to write about today, I guess I’ll do that.

A long time ago (the 80’s), music was at a crossroads. Disco was dying out and there wasn’t another major musical fad that seemed ready to fill the void of the American conscious. This led to a fragmentation of sorts; the largest segment, headlined by Michael Jackson and Lionel Ritchie, filled the radios with crappy pop that many people in my generation still can’t get enough of. Other bands took different routes: Hair Metal bands like Def Leppard and Gunz-N-Roses tried – and failed – to take the sounds of earlier bands (like Led Zepplin) to new, higher levels; rap began its incursion into the mainstream thanks in very large part to Run-DMC’s cover of Aerosmith's “Walk This Way”; and in the distant background, a segment of music classified as “punk” was making a lot of noise for the few who were listening.

Punk Rock was stereotyped as loud, 3-chord-playing, anti-social, skateboarding punks (thus the name) who were mad at everything in the world. There was some justification to this label, because many bands (The Sex Pistols, The Dead Milkmen, et al) filled all or part of that description. But the underground music scene held a lot more than just the punkers. Bands with original sounds (REM, The B-52’s) and things to say (U2) were ignored in the early parts of the decade but became major forces by the early nineties. These bands didn’t fit any of the categories, so a new one was created: Progressive Music.

Fast forward ten years or so. The grunge sound of the early nineties was an accumulation of sorts of the anti-pop sound that had built up through the 80’s; grunge faded away after five years of domination, but like the beach just after high tide, it left everything smooth and flat. Boy bands and slut divas aside, pop music became a little edgier (which isn’t saying much) and progressive music became…well, less progressive; more mainstream.

And that’s more or less where we are today. Progressive has been renamed to Alternative, but the alt songs are played on the same stations as the slut divas and they all sound more or less the same. Sure, there are a few fresh sounds here and there, but instead of taking their own track, they’re quickly swallowed up by the homogonous pop/alt world and become processed to the point of blandness (can you say No Doubt?).

It’s all very depressing. As I stated in part one of this series, I don’t even listen to musical radio much anymore.

Fearless Predictions of the week: Ohio State 24, Texas 17

Carolina 35, New Orleans 3

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Fantasy Football - Just a Fantasy

hmm...ESPN must be getting a lot of hits, because it keeps throwing me 404's when I try to invite someone to the league. I have one more team to fill, and it won't let me invite. The draft was supposed to be this morning, but it didn't happen.

Sorry, Ronn, looks like it won't happen after all...

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Fantasy Football

I've started a free 10 team fantasy football league on espn.com. If anyone wants to join, let me know - there's plenty of room. The auto-draft is at 5am on Wednesday the 7th, so let me know before that and I'll send you an invite.

I was pretty close on my OSU prediction. :D

Friday, September 02, 2005

What is Wrong With You People?

Okay, I get the looting. Sort of. I mean, it’s nothing that I would ever take part in myself, but the looting in New Orleans was (or should have been) expected. Whenever there is any kind of crisis, the loonies of the world use it as an excuse to loot and pillage.

But this morning I opened my e-mail to see this:

CNN Breaking News -- New Orleans hospital halts patient evacuations after coming under sniper fire, a doctor who witnessed the incident says.

This goes as far above and beyond loony-looting as the space shuttle goes above my car. Who shoots at hospital patients? How freaking deranged do you have to be to even think to do such a thing?

*Sigh*. Well, the news that the people of the world are screwed up shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone.

On a less important note, here’s my fearless prediction for the week:

Ohio State 34, Miami (Oh) 12

Thursday, September 01, 2005

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Despite its drawbacks – such as being the gateway to cold weather – September is my favorite month of the year. It’s mostly warm, but you get those nights near the end when the air carries that refreshing autumn nip tinged with the smell of woodsmoke from long-dormant fireplaces. You can use the full range of your wardrobe, since it’s still warm enough for shorts, yet you also need the occasional sweater. And September brings with it the greatest of America’s contributions to civilization: football.

I love football. It has the perfect combination of speed, power, and skill. You can’t just be fast to play football; you’ll get knocked around. You can’t just be big; people will run right by you. You must have a wide variety of attributes to be good at football.

What about soccer? you may say. It’s the most popular sport on the planet! Unlike American football, they’re running all the time! None of that starting and stopping stuff in soccer.

Perhaps so, but it’s also boring. Any game with a typical score of 2-1 after hours of play is boring by definition. Soccer carries with it the same fatal flaw as hockey; the offsides rule. The fact that an offensive player can’t beat the defense down the pitch/rink before the ball/puck gets there is what holds both of those sports back from becoming truly great. That would be like calling a penalty every time a wide receiver beat a corner and caught a sixty yard touchdown bomb. Instead we see everyone gathered on a line waiting for someone to dump the ball into the offensive zone. Hmm, wonder why NHL guys keep talking about how little space there is to skate…

Baseball is boring, too. You sit and watch and watch and watch, just waiting for something to happen. Usually nothing does. It’s like a watching a football game where both teams just run it up the middle every play and punt 42 times a game. Every now and then someone breaks a 15 yarder, but it’s mostly two yards, three yards, negative four yards, punt, repeat. Yawn.

Football is the perfect sport. Every member of the team is essential; leave out a guard or a safety and your team will not have success. It’s not non-stop action, but that’s okay; the breaks between plays give viewers a chance to break down the play before. It’s not like anything actually happens in those non-stop sports either. Besides, the waiting builds anticipation for the play that follows.

Every week I’ll post my fearless predictions for the upcoming games of both my favorite collegiate team (Ohio State) and my favorite pro team (Carolina). Unless I forget to.